Perfect Record
by lydiamaartin
Summary: By the time he was eighteen years old, Scorpius Malfoy had kissed all the Weasley girls in his generation. The last one he kissed, he married. - Scorpius-centric


**Disclaimer: I own nobody you recognize.

* * *

**The very first girl Scorpius Malfoy ever kissed was Victoire Weasley. It wasn't much, really-just a quick peck on the lips, and it was mostly out of pity.

He'd been sitting by the Great Lake, his first year in Hogwarts, pretending to read his Transfigurations study guide and generally acting like a depressed, angsty teenager. Which he wasn't, but who cared? He had a very good reason for acting like that, anyway!

Well, that's what he thought. Victoire wasn't nearly so impressed.

"Hey, what're you doing out here?" she'd asked him, plopping gracelessly by his side.

"Studying," Scorpius said sullenly, mimicking the older boy who'd just been dumped by his girlfriend he'd seen wandering the halls earlier. "What does it look like?"

Victoire pretended to think about it. "Well, it looks like you acting like a depressed, angsty teenager-even though you're not-for no good reason."

Scorpius stared at her, offended. "I have a perfectly good reason!" he said defensively.

Victoire raised her eyebrows. Scorpius wished she wouldn't do that. It was kind of intimidating, and a Malfoy being intimidated by a Weasley just wasn't _right_!

"Oh, yeah?" she said skeptically. "Let's hear it."

Scorpius crossed his arms. "Albus got his first kiss today."

Victoire giggled. It took him a moment to remember that Albus was her cousin and she'd probably be very amused by this.

"And?" she asked when she had managed to control her laughter. "What about it? I thought you'd be happy for him, being his best friend and all."

Scorpius frowned at her. "Well, I still haven't gotten mine!" he said, trying very hard not to whine.

He had a feeling he hadn't succeeded in that very well.

"So what?" Victoire asked, as if this was no big deal. Which, as far as Scorpius was concerned, it most certainly _was_!

"What do you mean, 'so what'?" he asked indignantly. "My best mate got his first kiss already and I didn't! How is that fair? And when Rose finds out, she's gonna kill herself laughing and I'll never live it down!"

Victoire seemed to be smothering her laughter again. "You want a kiss? At eleven? Honestly, Scorp, isn't that a bit fast?"

"Albus-" Scorpius began defensively.

Victoire rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, so your best friend got his first kiss already. It's really not a big deal, Scorpius. I got my first kiss when I was fourteen. And I'm part-Veela!"

"Yeah, but you're not my best friend," he pointed out moodily.

Victoire sighed. "All right. If that's important to you, will you promise to stop acting like a big baby when you get your first kiss?"

Scorpius nodded without any amount of enthusiasm.

...Until she touched two fingers to his cheek and moved his head so he was facing her. Before he could even begin to formulate a coherent thought, she had dipped her head and pressed her lips to his.

It wasn't anything like in romance novels. You could hardly even call it a kiss. It felt like it could have been done on accident, just two pairs of lips meeting randomly for a few seconds and then parting.

But Scorpius didn't care about any of that. All that mattered was that he had gotten his first kiss-and from a part-Veela seventh-year, no less!

"Al and Rose are going to have a heart attack when I tell them about this!" he said enthusiastically when she pulled back, a smirk on her face. "But...why'd you do it? Don't you have a boyfriend?"

Victoire sent him an amused smile. "Yes-your cousin. Who'd probably be cracking up over this if he knew about it. Besides, you're a Ravenclaw, and I'm your Head Girl. We 'Claws have to stick together. How else are we going to take over the world-I mean, put our knowledge to good use?"

She stood, smoothed down her skirt, and winked at him. Then she spun on one heel and disappeared into the castle, leaving Scorpius sitting there with a smile on his face and a study guide for the Transfiguration test he was surely going to fail tomorrow on his lap.

* * *

All he really remembered of his kiss with Dominique was that she tasted like chocolate.

And that she hadn't been nearly as nice as Victoire was, partly because she was annoyed and the kiss was only to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. Scorpius could have told her that wouldn't work out _before_ she had grabbed his head and smashed her lips onto his, but she hadn't actually given him much of an opportunity to speak beforehand.

He supposed it must have looked quite amusing to an outsider. Dominique Weasley, normally a cheerful, happy girl, storming through the courtyards of Hogwarts, murder written on her face. People gulped and hastily stepped out of her way. A thundercloud seemed to trail above her.

Next to him, Rose remarked sympathetically, "Jake Goldstein broke up with her. At first, I felt sorry for Nika. But now, I just feel sorry for Goldstein."

He and Albus agreed ardently. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, after all-especially a Weasley woman.

"Hey, isn't that the bloke who broke up with her, right over there?" Albus pointed out, gesturing to a spot a few feet away from them where a group of laughing fifth-year Gryffindor boys were gathered, chortling and high-fiving each other.

Rose made a face of disgust. "Ugh. They're all so annoying, they put our little siblings to shame."

Before their conversation could continue, Scorpius took notice of something rather alarming. "Hey-guys? She's coming this way."

Albus and Rose jumped and looked at the hurricane that was Dominique Weasley, stalking towards them.

Scorpius scrambled backwards. She was heading straight for _him_.

She stopped in front of him, sent a contemptuous glance at the group of boys next to them, all of whom had suddenly gone silent, and whispered under her breath two words that had him wanting to run straight to the castle and never look back.

"_Play along_," Dominique hissed, and leaned towards him.

The next thing he knew, her lips were on top of his, moving quickly, as if she wanted the kiss to be over with as much as he did, and he could taste the chocolate bars she had eaten earlier.

She pulled back, flashed a triumphant smile at a flabbergasted Jake Goldstein, and flounced off.

Albus and Rose gaped at him for a moment. "Mate," Albus said slowly. "You just got kissed by a part-Veela Weasley."

He paused, and then frowned. "_Again_."

* * *

As far as he could remember, Lucy had been a much better kisser than either of her older cousins.

Partly because their kiss was a real, honest-to-goodness _kiss, _and not just a pity peck or whatever the heck you called his kiss with Dominique.

To be fair, it was also a mistletoe kiss, and the first and last kiss he ever shared with Lucy, but it was still bloody amazing.

Not that it had started out that way. In fact, it had started with what Rose called a 'meet-cute'-whatever that was (he still hadn't bothered to ask her). He'd bumped into Lucy on his way out of the kitchens during Christmas break of his fourth year and accidentally knocked her down.

(He was pretty sure he'd sprained her ankle in the process, but she denied it.)

"Honestly, Scorpius, it's _fine_!" Lucy laughed, accepting the hand he offered to help her up. "Really, nothing's broken, and I can still walk. It's fine. Stop apologizing!"

He stopped sheepishly. "Sorry. I mean-um..."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "You're such a boy," she muttered fondly, with all the expertise of a girl who'd had five male cousins to deal with her whole life.

Scorpius blinked. "Thank you," he said. Then he looked up. (He still wasn't quite sure why—perhaps he had the Sight?)

(...Yeah, right.)

"We're under the mistletoe," he pointed out with a surprising amount of calm.

Then the panic set in. Because if Ron Weasley was one of the most overprotective fathers he knew, then Percy Weasley was _the _most protective father he knew. And if he kissed the Minister's baby girl—well, he'd be perfectly screwed.

Lucy followed his gaze and giggled. "Oh. Are you worrying about Daddy?"

Scorpius nodded mutely. He didn't have to do this, did he? It's not like the mistletoe were charmed to keep them there until they kissed or anything, right?

...Oh, wait. Of course they were charmed. _Of course, _this was exactly the sort of thing that Headmaster Slughorn would think was amusing. _Of course_. It was so bloody typical, he almost laughed.

"Daddy'll never know, Scorpius," Lucy pointed out. "And they're charmed."

He gulped. "Yeah. I figured. Well, um, how d'you wanna-?"

Lucy placed both hands on his shoulders, raised herself up on the tips of her toes, and kissed him gently before he could finish speaking.

She tasted like sugar cookies, Scorpius noted dazedly. And she was a very good kisser, for fourteen.

He told her as much, when she pulled back.

"And you're not too bad yourself, for fifteen," Lucy laughed. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

With a wave and a smile, she was off down the hallway and into Hufflepuff Common Room, leaving him standing there in the doorway of the kitchens with a goofy grin on his face.

* * *

"I heard you kissed my sister."

Scorpius froze, gulped, and slowly swiveled around to meet the narrowed blue eyes of Molly Weasley. It wasn't that she was particularly intimidating—she was, after all, a good foot and a half shorter than him, despite being a year older—and she looked like any other Weasley you'd find roaming the halls of Hogwarts—red hair, blue eyes, freckles. There was nothing really intimidating about Molly Weasley at all.

Except when she glared at you. Scorpius could tell you that from experience.

"Um," he said intelligently. "Well, yeah. Why?"

"Are you planning on asking her out?" Molly asked bluntly.

Scorpius took a step back. "No, not really," he said slowly.

She frowned. "Then why did you kiss her?"

"We were under a mistletoe!" Scorpius blurted out. "I swear, that's it, please don't kill me!"

She eyed him thoughtfully. "I wasn't planning on killing you. If I was, I'd get Victoire to do it, and she _likes_ you for some godforsaken reason."

"Then…?" Scorpius prompted hesitantly in the awkward—on his part, anyway—silence that followed.

"She said you're a good kisser," said Molly, throwing him completely off guard.

"She did?" Scorpius asked dumbly. "I mean, um, that's nice," he amended quickly at the look on her face. "Why are you telling me this?"

Molly adjusted her glasses. "I wanted to see for myself if she was right about that."

Before he could even begin to comprehend her statement, Molly had reached over and kissed him soundly. When she pulled back, there was a satisfied smirk on her face.

Warning bells went off in Scorpius's head. "This is another make-my-ex-jealous ploy, isn't it?" he groaned.

Molly shrugged. "Not exactly. He's not my ex-boyfriend. He's this pigheaded boy in my year who's got it into his head that I want to snog him when I most certainly don't. I figured the most thorough way to prove that to him would be to kiss someone else first." She nodded to a boy glaring at them in the distance. "That's him, over there."

Scorpius sighed. "Why me, then?"

Molly grinned at him. "To be honest, it was Dominique's idea. And I couldn't have my little sister experiencing, and I quote, 'the best kiss of my _life_' without finding out what made it the best, now could I?"

Scorpius rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache appear. "You Weasley girls are more trouble than you're worth," he declared and turned to leave.

"If it helps," Molly called through her laughter, "Lucy was right!"

* * *

Kissing Rose was different, though.

For one thing, she was actually his _girlfriend_ when they first kissed.

For another, their first kiss was actually somewhat romantic.

Well, as romantic as a kiss could be when the two participants were a Malfoy and a Weasley, that is.

"I wish Al would stop with his stupid innuendos already," Rose sighed, plopping down on a grassy hill on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Technically speaking, it was not 'out of boundaries', so they couldn't get in trouble for going there.

"To be fair, he's James Potter's little brother," Scorpius said, sitting down next to her. "Making stupid innuendos seems to be a genetic thing."

"Lily never does it," Rose muttered, then stopped to think. "Oh, wait, never mind."

Scorpius snickered. "She's a Potter. What'd you expect?"

Rose shrugged, and then leaned back, propping herself up on the palms of her hands. "Did you have fun today?" she asked him softly, as if afraid of his answer.

Scorpius tilted his head and smiled at her. "Tons. You?"

Rose returned the smile with an even brighter one of her own. "Me, too. Does this…um, does it count as a date?"

Scorpius swallowed. "Do you want it to?"

She hesitated. "Well, I didn't bother to get rid of Albus for nothing, now, did I?" she asked, half-teasingly, half-worriedly.

Before he could get cold feet, Scorpius had leaned over, sliding one arm around her waist. "For what it's worth, I want it to count as a date," he said quietly.

Rose blinked up at him. "But…we've been best friends. I don't want to ruin that. What if this doesn't work out?"

He shrugged. "We'll make it work. As friends, if nothing else."

She kissed him first, as was becoming routine. But this time, he returned it whole-heartedly, making sure to be gentle and slow until she opened her mouth of her own accord. They spent about another half-hour on that grassy hill, making out contentedly until Albus found them.

"Hey, guys, I—whoa."

Scorpius jerked his head away from Rose as fast as she did, but he couldn't quite bring himself to let go of her just yet. "_Al_," he groaned. "What happened to your date?"

Albus shot him an innocent smile. "Date? What date?"

Rose jumped up.

Albus backed down. "Okay, okay, no need to hex me," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "Bella was too annoying and clingy. Also, she was a bit of an airhead. A Slytherin can't be seen dating a ditz; ask around! I ditched her in Honeyduke's and went looking for you guys. It's almost time to go in."

Scorpius lifted himself up and joined the two cousins. "All right, fine. Let's head back."

On the way back, Albus sent him a meaningful look, which Scorpius easily translated as _'Hurt her, and I'll let Uncle Ron loose on you'._

It was a very intimidating threat.

* * *

"Hi, Scorpius!" Lily greeted cheerfully, bouncing over to where he was sitting on a bench, spooning bites of strawberry cake into his mouth. "Enjoying the party?"

"Immensely," Scorpius drawled, and then winced at how much he sounded like his father. "Um, sorry. It's fun, I guess."

"You guess?" Lily placed her hands on her hips. "For Merlin's sake, Malfoy, it's your best friend's sixteenth birthday party and you're here moping over—what, exactly?"

"I'm not _moping_!" Scorpius exclaimed, scandalized. "Malfoys don't mope! I'm…brooding."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Over what, again?"

He stabbed his half-eaten slice of cake. This might have been more effective if he'd been using a fork. "Take a wild guess."

"Crumple-Horned Snorkacks don't exist?" Lily sighed. "I know, I was absolutely _heartbroken_ when I realized that."

Scorpius shot her a look, already too used to the Potter kids rambling about crazy, nonexistent animals. Apparently, their favorite Aunt Luna was a great influence in their lives.

"_Lily_," he sighed.

"_Scorpius_," Lily mimicked.

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?" he demanded.

Lily considered. "Well, no, I suppose I don't _need_ it, exactly, but I'd appreciate it."

"Rose dumped me!" he burst, startling her into taking a step backwards. "She dumped me the instant she heard some stupid girl bragging about kissing me, which, since she'd been my best friend for five years, she should have _known_ was a lie!"

Lily stared disconcertingly at him for a moment before doing the last thing he expected her to do.

She laughed.

Scorpius stared, slack-jawed, as Lily stood there and proceeded to _laugh_, at his expense, for a good two minutes.

"What is the matter with you?" he finally snarled, feeling very much like he'd like to throw her into the closest lake. "I just told you that my girlfriend—your _cousin_—dumped me over a stupid reason and you're standing there, _laughing! _That is not a—mmph!"

He didn't have any time to react to the fact that Lily had raised herself to his height and rested both hands on his shoulders before she was kissing him, her lips moving lightly against his, the taste of cinnamon and cherries lingering on his mouth. She was small and slight, shaped like a dancer instead of a Quidditch player like most of her cousins, and his arms slid around her waist easily, holding her close even when the kiss ended.

"What," Scorpius gasped against her face, "was that for?"

Lily stepped out of his reach, and he immediately missed her warmth. "That was to cheer you up. Did it work?"

Her eyes, bright hazel with a little-girl innocence shining in them, made him smile. "Yeah. It did, actually. Thanks, Lily."

She beamed. It was easy to forget she was fourteen when she looked so much like a child of seven, Scorpius thought.

"You're welcome," she said brightly. "Don't tell Rose, though. Wouldn't want her to get jealous."

Lily winked at him, once, and then skipped off in the direction of Hugo and Lucy, presumably to discuss the merits of the mangoberry versus the appleberry.

Scorpius still wasn't sure if those were real fruits, imaginary fruits, or animals. More likely, they were vegetables.

* * *

"You know," Albus commented casually to him one breezy day in the middle of their seventh year, "you still haven't kissed all the Weasley girls yet."

"I'm not kissing your mum, Al," Scorpius said distractedly, more focused on his Charms study guide than the conversation.

Albus made a face. "Right. That's exactly what I was talking about," he muttered sarcastically. "No, I meant Roxanne."

Scorpius paused in his frantic reviewing to frown up at his best friend. "Roxanne? The Slytherin Weasley?"

"There's more to her than _that_!" Rose said defensively from Albus's other side. While she and Scorpius weren't exactly comfortable together when alone, they had slowly begun repairing their friendship, which was good enough for him.

"Yeah, mate, she's a bit more than just a Slytherin," Albus added. "I mean, she's smart, she's funny, she's prettier than your average girl—"

"She also kicked her last boyfriend in the balls after he dumped her," Scorpius interrupted. "And her last boyfriend was my Housemate, so _I_ had to live with his constant moaning and whining about it, too."

"To be fair, he was cheating on her and she has the Weasley temper," Rose pointed out.

"Whatever," Scorpius rolled his eyes, pushing his study guide into his bag and standing up. "I'm going for a walk. I need some fresh air after all that studying. Watch my stuff, would you?"

He wandered off without waiting for an answer and ended up near the greenhouses, home of his favorite subject.

"Professor Longbottom?" he called, looking around for a glimpse of his favorite professor. "Are you here?"

"He's in his office, grading papers," said a voice that made him jump in alarm.

Catching his breath, Scorpius turned to see an olive-skinned redhead with her hair in two signature braids which were an instant clue to her identity.

"Roxanne?" he asked in surprise. _Speak of the devil_, he thought, but was smart enough not to say it out loud.

"The one and only," she said with a smile that, while not as friendly and cheerful as Lily's, was nowhere near as intimidating as Dominique's. "Did you need something from Professor Longbottom?"

Scorpius shook his head to clear it of the conversation he had just had with Albus and Rose. "Uh, no, I was just wondering where he was. What are you doing here?"

"Watering plants," Roxanne said, holding up a water can he hadn't noticed her carrying until now.

"Why not use magic?" he asked curiously.

Roxanne shrugged, impatiently batting her loose bangs away from her face. "I like to do things the old-fashioned way."

He raised an eyebrow. "You have detention?"

She huffed. "I'm still in trouble for what I did to Tony. Dad called it _violating_. I call it revenge."

Her smile, apparently intended to be devilish, probably should not have turned him on as much as it did. In his defense, her cousins had just talked about him kissing her, not even ten minutes ago.

"Right, well, um, that does a fairly good job of scaring me away," Scorpius said, nodding.

Roxanne giggled. He began to understand why she was so close to Rose. The two of them had a frightening amount of qualities in common.

"So," she said conversationally after a silence during which she probably should have gotten in trouble for not doing her work. "I hear you've kissed all my cousins."

Scorpius groaned. "Has everyone been keeping _count_, or something?"

"Nope," Roxanne grinned at him. "But we did have a bet going."

"Of course you did," he grumbled, but was unable to stop himself from returning her smile. Then, he said something he would never have said before he met his thrice-damned best friends. "Can I kiss you?"

Roxanne gaped. "Um, _what_?"

Scorpius cringed and hurried to explain himself. "It's just that, well, Al and Rose were talking to me about you being the only Weasley girl I haven't kissed, and it'd be kinda cool to have a perfect record, I guess, not that I care about that sort of stuff, and you're really pretty and it kinda seems like fate that I ran into you right after I had that conversation with Al and Rose, and I know I sound like either a babbling fool or a chauvinistic jerk, but you definitely don't have to do it if you don't want—"

He only had time to register that she was standing really, really close to him before her lips were on his and she was kissing him and he was mentally wondering why he was never able to kiss a Weasley girl first and if being a good kisser was in the Weasley genetics or something.

But Roxanne tasted like lemonade, which was a welcome surprise after all the sweetness of her cousins' lips, and he soon found himself forgetting what he had been thinking about before and simply focusing on kissing her.

He never kissed any of her cousins again.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Um, wow. This is probably one of my longest one-shots to date, and definitely one of my favorite ones. If you made it through all that Next-Gen fluff, I commend you, and beg you to please leave a review telling me what you thought! Thanks in advance!**

**Special Author's Note: This is dedicated to –EHWIES, an amazing writer (Marauder's Era fans, go check her out!), who inspired me to get writing again and wanted me to write another Scorpius/Roxanne fic. Thanks, -EHWIES! This is for you =D**


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